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Firstly you have to know that before all this I was terribly scared of death, a phobia. Not truly scared of the manner I would be dying, but fear about what is afterwards. Scared that maybe there would be nothing anymore, of nothingness, that there would be no existence anymore and that you would loose everything. Things didn't really work in our couple anymore, and I started to give up and entering into an umpteenth depression ( I rather linked them up lately), but without any special reason.
I went to bed very late at the night of the 11th October. When one of my girls woke up around 8:30 am I was extremely tired and therefore asked daddy to get up. So I could go back to sleep easily, seen the big tiredness I felt.
I don't know if this happened during a dream, but suddenly I found myself in front of the building of the old apartment where I had been living with my family. I saw myself as a child, as well as my brother and my sister. I saw their physical appearance with such a precision! I had not been remembering their appearance of that age, it was a little bit like erased. And it did upset me, to see myself so happy with my family and so small. I said to myself ''but this is strange to dream about this, moreover it is strange that I'm aware that I'm dreaming''.
And I don't know how, but I felt a very unpleasant buzzing in my ears, it was very strong and I felt that I was able to leave my body from my outstretched position, and I found myself taken upwards in a crazy speed, as if being propelled.
I turned and I found myself in a dark place, almost a complete blackness. I didn't really feel reassured, even less when I saw a light afar. I knew that this was for sure not normal, that this meant something. And while advancing I felt a presence. I didn't see a silhouette but I felt it, and it was as if my doubts were dissipating, that I could go there, that things would go well.
And there! The most magnificent of sensations (even more than that)! I suddenly came into this light. It was white, but not the white we know, that I would qualify as too dull. It was bright, radiant, divine, indescribable, it was much stronger than what I try to explain to you. I was bathed in it, it was welcoming me in an unbelievable manner. I felt so good, so calm. In peace. At last I understood. I was well. And I continued on my way. The presence was still there, but I felt it a thousand times stronger. It was the god-mother of my little sister, who passed some years ago due to a cancer. I don't know how I knew, but she was there, all around me in this magnificent light. I wasn't dazzled despite is power. It was really very soft. I was advancing and a wonderful music came along, sounds of bells, they reverberated. It was sumptuous. I felt an infinite love. This will seem horrible, but even though love was different, I never felt this with my two girls (despite the fact that I love them with all my being, with all my heart and that I could give everything for them!).
And then, in this light I understood that I was was leaving, but this was not serious, finally I understood everything, BUT I had to move backwards. MY GIRLS! That's the sentence that came into my mind, but I had the impression that I was told it (I didn't hear any words, it was instantaneously in my head). And then this message: ''Live your life from day to day, take care of your surrounding, you have to be there for them''.
Then I was propelled backwards. I felt sad to leave everything, I felt so light. But it was not the moment. I had some difficulty finding my body, I didn't succeed, I don't know how to say, I was struggling. Then I went to the living room looking for my darling. As soon as I saw him I calmly asked him, even that no sound came out: ''You have to get up and go to the sleeping room, I want to come back but I am unable to do it by myself, I just need a little help''. Obviously there was no reaction. I retraced my steps and finally came back on my own, I just had to let go.
I felt the heaviness of my body, no pain but I felt air entering my nose and mouth, pure air. I woke up while inspiring very strongly. Despite everything that had been happening I was exhausted and fell asleep right away, I really had no choice, as if I had been knocked out.
When I woke up again around 11:00 am. I reflected about all this and I started to cry, to cry tremendously. I felt so privileged having experienced all this. So disorientated about my return and so nostalgic about everything that I just experienced. I was crying but I felt good, I had no sorrow in my heart anymore. I realized AT LAST that I needed not being scared of all this, that our deceased loved ones were in peace, that there was no need to worry. That life finally was over there, and this love...!!! I immediately talked to my darling, who saw that I was upset! I had chills, I had the impression not having entered my body completely; that was very special. And I felt hot, red cheeks, warm skin (no fever!) but I felt good, on my little cloud, finally still light.
I wasn't really believing in all those NDE stories, I never had been studying this subject. For me this type of thing happened to people in hospital (so they surely got drugs that took effect on their brains). I didn't know the ''symptoms'' of those NDEs. It was after all this that I made a tour on the net, and was 'hallucinated' when I saw that I experienced the same thing.
It's only two days, but I do nothing else than thinking about it, in my mind I forgave all those who had been hurting me enormously. I decided to act less in the heat of the emotional and to put things into perspective. I have no fear of death anymore, and I'm reassured. Yesterday I talked to my mother who was aghast. She strongly believes in the ''paranormal'' (this word now makes me laugh, because everything I experienced seemed so natural to me) and each time I was arguing with her, as I found that she was too naive. She sensed that I needed to talk about it, I really could talk for hours about it. It was so very majestic! But to talk about it to everybody, I think that's not the good solution. One Person already doubted all this, and I don't want to be in front of a wall, I want being listened to. I also want to tell people worrying, not to worry anymore.
There is something coming after, that's for sure!
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To me this was one story that was very well described, in that ( as I have read it ) it was a full nde like experience, without the ( Known Fact ) that she had died.I wasn't really believing in all those NDE stories, I never had been studying this subject. For me this type of thing happened to people in hospital (so they surely got drugs that took effect on their brains). I didn't know the ''symptoms'' of those NDEs. It was after all this that I made a tour on the net, and was 'hallucinated' when I saw that I experienced the same thing.
As she called it, a dream.
In my opinion it is stories like this that give real evidence of the belief that there is more to life than meets the eye.
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can you reword what you are saying here Dennis as i am not able to comprehend this lineDennisMe wrote:"One Person already doubted all this, and I don't want to be in front of a wall, I want being listened to."
This makes me so sad. It's exactly why I'm here.
"One Person already doubted all this, and I don't want to be in front of a wall, I want being listened to."